Oh TimeHop...

TimeHop and Mommy Guilt...What do they have in common...I see these sweet teeny faces pop up reminding me how fast the days, months and years are going. I remember their sweet little voices and see how cute they were. Then I remember the times when they weren't so cute, or the time(s)  I lost my temper and I think ...

How could I have been so mad at that little face?

He was so little.

Why did I yell so much?

Am I still yelling as much? 

Did he/they know better?

Did I?

My heart breaks a little each time I remember, guilt has a seat at my table and I cry...(as a person I cry a lot)..I think I wish I could go back, but then I can't. How can I make today better? Step 1 Forgive myself...Give myself grace...Each are easy to say but HOW? I really think all I can do is Pray.."Lord Help me, Forgive me for my anger. Help me to be better next time." The Bible says the Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love. (Psalm 103:8) That is often how I pray...Lord, help me to be more like you. Slow to anger, I have a quick and biting temper...it is one of my biggest flaws.  I want to be quick to love, gracious and compassionate I want my family to feel and know my love I want them to know grace abounds in our home and I want to raise compassionate people.

So whats a girl to do when guilt pours a cup of coffee and has a seat? I politely dump out the cup and kick guilt out. It has no place in my life. I have no time to sit and feel sad. I have three kids and a husband that need my love. I TRY to apologize often to each of them I know my flaws and when they rise I hug and love and beg for forgiveness. So each day when I see these cute little faces and I am reminded that I am not perfect BUT really neither are they and thats ok because I love them anyway and I am pretty sure the feeling is mutual!

I mean look at those little faces...were they ever bad...YES!! Yes,they were...and those big faces...are they teaching me grace?! YES!! Yes, they are...I hope I am doing the same for them!