What you didn't see...
Last week Jesse and I went away for a quick three day getaway. We were supposed to go to the beach but with some storms looming we decided to head to Mickey Mouse instead. (You can read about it in my last post here) It was probably the most fun we've ever had together. We laughed and joked so much and posted about all the fun we were having to our Instagram Stories. But as much as I love social media (mostly Instagram) we all know or what we so often have to keep in mind is that it’s the highlight reel. Very rarely do I ever post a picture of my kids mess, or the fit they are throwing or a picture of me crying out of anger. What I do post are the achievements my kids have reached, the clean rooms, or me crying out of love (or really any other reason I tend to cry.) So here are a few things from our quick Disney trip that you didn't see.
The whole point of this getaway was for us to reconnect.
After almost 13 years of marriage, three kids, one that came at us with a crazy hard and lengthy adoption process, I found myself lost in the work of life. I am a verbal processor so when things get busy and Jesse and I don't find the time for us to communicate I tend to shut down. For me, this trip was important for us to really talk a lot of things out.
So one of our first conversations back to the reconnected way of marriage was for us to talk and ask a bunch of questions: Whats going on? What’s working for us? What’s not? How do we change that? How can we be better parents? What do we see in our kids that we need to build up? How can we shut down some things that we are seeing that we don't like?
This was a hard conversation time but our view from the Japanese restaurant in Epcot made it a heck of a lot easier.
Next up was trusting him. I hate going into situations not knowing what to expect or what is going on. Jesse is totally fine walking into a room or situation and finding his way. He has done a TON of research for our family trip to Disney so I just had to sit back and trust that he knew what we were doing. I asked a lot of questions, “Why do I have to wake up so early? Can I have coffee now? When will they let us in? What now? How long will that take? Are you sure this is right?” But in the end I just had to follow his lead.
Our last dinner in the Magic Kingdom was so yummy (Ohana at the Polynesian resort)! It was there that we needed to talk about how we can really shift this stage in our family for the best. Our kids are bigger, and the demands they have are more time consuming and complicated. School is starting soon, and we are looking at our calendar and it’s filling up SO fast with homework, soccer twice a week and weekend games, gymnastics, speech therapy, piano, and bible study fellowship (BSF). The big question for me was, when can i see you again?! A lot of the people I look up to say weekly date nights are a must, but honestly when I hear that all I see or hear is the ChaChing of dollar bills. On top of that, Jesse works a crazy schedule and isn't always home during the evenings. Despite all the obstacles, we decided that we needed to make time together a priority. We set a weekday that we think will work for us and we will either do lunch dates or game nights or if we can swing it, a nice dinner out. Too often our dates land us at the movie theatre because we both love movies but then we lack the communication that we need.
The good news? We got to go away. Our kids survived and we still really like each other. I still think he is super funny and has the best eyes I’ve ever seen, and after three kids and a love of candy he still wants to grab my butt. I’d call it a success.